I want to scratch my face off…


I’ve always had people compliment my skin. In high school I rarely had any spots or blemishes. People would ask me what skin products I use and I really had nothing special to tell them. Much to the obvious annoyance that caused.

When my GCSE exams came around however, I got this rash around my mouth – sexy right? It was mostly at the corners of my mouth but also just around my lips in general so it kind of looked clown esque.

This happened because I have eczema. When I was younger I used to have rashes of eczema flare up over my body and marinate in baths of balneum oil like a slimy piece of chicken. As I got older the eczema seemed to disappear but now it comes back mostly when I’m stressed and most annoyingly, mostly on my face!

I still have clear skin for the most part and you may feel envious passing me on the street but I’m actually in a private hell. Every morning I wake up, wash my face with an E45 emollient face wash , pat my face dry with a towel and then slather my face with E45 cream. The kind of cream you put on a babies backside so it doesn’t get a rash. My face is basically a baby’s ass. Smooth to the touch, clear and glowing but it can become a flared up mess from the slightest irritation!

In the shower I also use an emollient body wash so I’m just coated in a layer of oil 24/7. If I don’t do this, the second I step out the shower and dry my skin tightens around my face and becomes itchy.

Some days I wake up and my face feels unbearably itchy, sometimes all through the day. I can’t wear lipstick some days because it pretty much just flakes off my lips and exacerbates the situation. Some days I can’t wear make up at all.

My doctor gave me an ointment which I smear all over my face before bed when things get really bad. It’s like an oily paste so I sit there looking like I’ve just come out my mum’s womb again.

I think part of the problem is living in a city, the pollution undoubtedly worsens my skin. I’m allergic to dogs and have a dog so that’s a no brainer. I also know my mood and skin seem to have an unshakable bond so I’m in a vicious cycle.

I’m slightly envious of people buying all these fancy French face creams, scented with rose water. My best friend owns a beauty salon and I can’t benefit from all her skin knowledge or treatments!

I wish I had a nice ending, a resolution or some advice. I guess having super sensitive skin has taught me that you don’t need expensive face creams or ingredients sources from the farthest reaches of the planet. On good days I just use a plain moisturiser and face wash like the Simple products because added ingredients just irritate my skin.

On the bright side with all this moisturiser, I’m basically Benjamin Button.


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